I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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