38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize
