In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
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