Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
