When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Randomize
