So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
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