dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
