Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
She even gives head with a lisp.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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