I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Randomize
