I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
