that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
