so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
FUCK WHALES
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