dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Randomize
