you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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