So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
where does the pee come out of this thing
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
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