Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
this beer tastes like vomit already
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
