super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
