im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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