1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
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