No stitches, just platelets and will power
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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