Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
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