I'm going to jail i love you
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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