he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Randomize
