I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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