Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
