Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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