Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
my liver is dry heaving
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize
