I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
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