apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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