Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize
