My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Randomize
