You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
