you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
