I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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