I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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