"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Randomize
