Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
