I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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