Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
areolas are like halos for boobs.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Randomize
