he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
