this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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