i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
