I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
she told me i tasted like america
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
A+ Viking dick
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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