dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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