Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
