k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
ugly people sure do ruin things
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
