I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
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