Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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