so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Randomize
