we're blogging at a bar
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
3pm strippers are depressing
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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