can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
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