As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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